Thursday, 12 March 2015


The following poems are from two different years, to see the comparison. Please comment about your views on my poems.

Year 6:


It breathes
In our
Whispering it's secrets
An instrument
Try to catch it
It will run
Try to copy it
It escapes your
All you can do is
Shape it.

By Emily

Year 8:

Woman of the Future

I am a child of all things in my past.
I am my mother's sandy face
My father's blue eyes
Passed down through generations.

I am all I see.
Terminals at Heathrow, overflowing with people
The first breathtaking sight if New Zealand
Watching the sun sink behind Pirongia
Turning to see home on a hill.

I am all I hear.
"Emily, we are going!"
" Do you remember...."
"Make a wish!"

Holly Drive children, meeting on bikes
Laughing and shouting, enjoying freedom.

I am all I feel and taste.
Warm wool in need of a cut
Worn covers if favourite books
Cremated marsh mellows from the homemade fire pit
And Nannie's trifle, smothered in cream.

And all I remember.
Grandparents hugging goodbye as we enter customs
Jet lagged first days, recuperating at home
Parsnip and Yoda's adoring eyes, boring into mine
Fish and chips at the beach, contemplating life.

I am all I've been taught.
"Tears before bedtime!"
"The world is your oyster."

I am all I think.
Inexpressible love for family
Comparison been books and real life.

I am all these things.
I'm like the sun
And these things a passing cloud.
But one day I'll shine,
Unhindered and free
I'm a woman of the future.

So what do you think?


  1. Hi Emily,
    I can see a LOT of difference between the poems, the year 6 poem was cool but the year 8 poem I found more detailed and expressed more about you.
    By Emily

  2. Wow Emily! I love both your poems. I believe you have an 'author's voice', which means I can hear you through your words. Because you love playing with words, you can sometimes over-write in memoir, but in poetry you choose each word carefully which gives your poems a well crafted feel.